I need to be in bed, but my mind is always telling me to write stuff. The motivation just comes, and I don’t always pay attention to it. The wisdom and ability to understand situations continues to unfold thanks to my time with Nichiren Buddhism. This morning, I guess writing is on my mind, because the people in my life know that’s how I get my feelings out. However, they might be under the impression that some of these feelings are…concrete and permanent.
Most of the time, they’re usually just passing fancy, and mean just as much as I’ve presented. The timing, however can be bad. The interpretation with a hint of “my past” might make it worse. Not that it’s true, but maybe that’s why certain people backed away, cut off contact. Maybe they thought I wanted more based on…what…being human and remembering the best parts of relationships?
Would have been better to ask where I was coming from, but it happens. Means something, in the long run. As most writers will tell you, sometimes that text will get you in a world of trouble with someone. Maybe not today, maybe tomorrow. Someday, someone. The only thing is this–I have/had the common sense not to “go there” outside of my thoughts. What I can’t control is what kind of sense the other person has. Sometimes, things fall apart.
It’s unfortunate, but I’m not stressed about it. I think of things. I think of people a lot. As much as I’d like to forget the hurt and sorrow, there’s just some people that stick in my head and heart. Someday when there is someone new, I will make room for them, and past doors will be closed.
(But seriously, anyone out there who’s googling me and trying to see what I’m saying about them–don’t get it twisted. I might think of you from time to time, but lesson’s learned. I’m def. not trying to get anything poppin with contacts, meetups, or sweet words.)