Listen to Roni.
Stop. Talking. About. Other. Partners.
I don’t want to just say “other women”, because there are lots of relationships out there with people who identify as a certain gender, or do not identify at all. But in my case, it’s other women. I’m tired of it. I get that conversation takes two people to work the back n forth, but the last thing I want to hear about is some other chick and what she did/who she was.
This is the Roni show. You tuned in to experience life with me. If I’m tuned to the Partner I Chose show, extend the respect. I don’t. Want to hear. What some other woman. Would have done. In my situation.
I don’t want to hear about how limber she was, as I’ve told you I feel like my weight is holding me back in some ways. That’s why I joined Jenny frickin’ Craig. I want to lose weight. I want to be as limber as I was when I was younger and smaller. I DON’T care that she was bigger and she could do it all.
She ain’t me.
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I don’t want to hear about how some other chick was able to take pills. Or that she took a bunch a day. WHATEVA. I don’t swallow them well. I always have to hide them in something to swallow them. I need pills for very few things. Her story isn’t helping.
She ain’t me.
You’re no longer speaking, right? Why’s she on your mind?
My thing is this–I don’t feel comfortable hearing about other people in this way. It’s different from sex stories and things that help me understand what I need to do to show you I am a caring partner, and not a total harpy. It’s different from things that help me learn why maybe you might be cynical, uneasy, or closed off about certain things. It’s different, because those things are relevant.
If I’m exposing a part of myself to you, that is not an open moment to tell me about someone who is able, someone who might be better, or someone who just is different. If they are all in the past, what are they doing in the future? What does this have to do with anything else?
The rub is that this is indeed insecurity. I can own up to that. It makes me uncomfortable, because I already feel like I’m this super different, super young idiot who hasn’t been in a relationship in about 9 years. I’m trying to not be so rusty as a sensual, easy going, all in wit the flow kind of chick. I will always do my own thing and be myself, but I’m trying to be a decent girlfriend. I am not a put together person. I am 31 and still feel like I am stuck in my 2os sometimes.
Hearing examples from these women, who at some point made the cut and probably had jobs and lives and their own apartments…..
….and I’m just trying not to get into argument 900 with this outspoken guy….
….and I want to be happy on a fair, even playing field.
Is this just my crazy ass, or is constantly hearing about other people in irrelevant situations just truly annoying?
I’m insecure and trying to live and be strong.