Who Is Babe?

I mean…I know who he is. Most of my followers on social media know who he is. Adding him to my writing spaces makes it official–he’s my guy. Granted they say you find someone when you stop looking, I usually fight that. I want to look everywhere. I felt like Paris wasn’t the place to do it, but I sort of…outsourced.

Trust me, the site I went on had a lot of “winners”, but not the kind you’d be thinking of. The kind of winners that you don’t give a chicken dinner, but you might have some fries ‘fore a frolic. Maybe a shake. He was different, and after looking over his first message to me, I cringed. It was a smiley cringe, because I thought it was a little corny, but I gave it a shot. He wasn’t hard on the eyes, and there was “something about him”.

There’s distance between us–Paris, TN and ATL–but the way we sort of picked up and went makes it worthwhile. You ever just…get into contact with something or someone, and feel this instant vibe of “I want” with no hesitation? That’s how I feel about him. We talk about everything, and it has gotten deep quickly–babies, the future, careers, all of it. I don’t feel rushed, either. This is exactly what I want! It happened quickly, but it felt so right. I didn’t feel rushed, and we spent a lot of time on the phone with each other.

When we met for the first time, that was it. I’m watching this handsome drink of water get out his car, with these nice cheekbones, gorgeous eyes, and facial hair…and I’m like “ho ho! JACKPOT!” in my head. Then we embraced, he looked into my eyes, and that was it. I was gone.

I will spare you the naughty bits. But they were amazing naughty bits.

He is the maturity I’ve wanted in a man, the kind of humor I like, and the knowledgeable kind of fellow that can not only teach a dame something, but be open to hearing my screwy ideas. We butt heads, yes, but the moments I have with him feel so natural. Sitting at IHOP and laughing, talking about our future together, or just chortling about nonsense. When he geeks out, it’s adorable. When he shows me something, or tells me about an anime, it’s heartwarming.

I was in bed with him one early morning, and the day was this hue of soothing blue that stunned me. I was wrapped up in him, and I just opened my eyes and savored the moment. I was picturing a life with him, in that twilight of blue. I was imagining a life every day like that, just on the mundane. It would be so perfect to wake up to that beautiful body every waking day. His warmth is soothing, his snoring is serene, and the softness of his skin feels so so good. Yet it was his company that filled me up. His company felt perfect, felt right, felt like a home I’d been looking for all this time. Gave me a fullness that I never knew could be.

How did I find it all so quickly?

I wrote this long ass intro on my profile of what I wanted, and he responded. And at first I was not going to put all that I did, but I was weeding out quantity over quality. Here he is, quality. This gem of a man who might get on my nerves sometimes, but has me smiling and laughing and maybe learning to love myself again. Someone who is very much grown up, but also has this side to him that’s like….nuts. He has made me blossom in a way that is so sudden, but long overdue. I could spend forever with a guy like that. Is this real?

And we don’t just talk about pop culture all the time. There is a lot of real life stuff. Perspectives on politics, equality, gender roles, ambition, family drama. We talk about things in such a way that it kind of feels like we have known one another all of our lives. And this is just us meeting together in the next lifetime.

I slipped and told him I loved him a few days back. It came out so naturally, but I meant it. I was embarrassed, but not regretting it. I fell for him hard, instantly. He shows so much care for me, with all his charm, his honesty, and his passion. To have someone so mellowing in my corner has been a wonderful experience. I want more of him. I want more of US. Do y’all know how long I’ve been looking for something like this? And feeling like I would never get it?

I intend to hold on to him. I intend to also be my own person, but as it stands–I am his. I am his, and he is mine. I’m off the market, swept into the arms of an amazing kisser who likes to cuddle and watch a variety of anime and action flicks. I’m into the universe of one who adores Star Wars, and is a handsome Blerd with a very bright future ahead of him. I’m nuts about someone who is good for this old soul.

He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

That’s who Babe is–my heart.

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Roni’s Spotify Spectacular

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to hang, canoodle, smooch, and be with the one I call “babe”. This is babe:

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Disclaimer: Babe never said he didn’t like the list, so I’m not mad at him. Just…surprised. With his fine asssss.

Babe drives me crazy. Babe also pushes my buttons, boils my potato–but he’s a’ight. He reminds me a lot of my dad, but he’s definitely his own person. Very honest, very attentive, and he ain’t too bad on the eyes. The thing? Babe ain’t like my Chill Time Spotify list. Babe was….indifferent-ish to my V-Day and Smoochy list. So, he breaks out his lappy, opens Pandora, and shows me like 500 different lists for his moods. Now, I wasn’t an ass, okay? Babe has taste. But he commented that my two lists were “all over the place” and had too many songs. Externally I was all smiles and nods and open-ness, sort of playing it off. Internally, I was like:

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That was definitely the Southsider from Chicago in me. Ron-ay wasn’t havin’ nuna it. He clowned my lists, y’all. “All over the place”? Fam. Lissen. Lissen. Listen baaaby. Granted he didn’t say he hated any of the songs, he didn’t exactly say he was feeling them either.

My lists were carefully crafted way back when. I think like 2013 or 2014? I was getting sick a lot, I was at home a lot. I needed something between Markiplier videos to keep me afloat as I did steam treatments. I needed something to aide my farming quests on Blue Dragon, as Sade had done for me in years past when I farmed on Final Fantasy Tactics. Enter: “Chill Time Wit Roni” list. Songs that I liked. Songs that aided my mood and were chill to me. Songs from my past that reminded me of my time with my dad, songs from a time when asymmetrical haircuts and stonewashed jeans were IT. These songs all have a mellow vibe to them. Some faster than others, some older than time itself–but they have helped me write papers, poems, short stories, and blogs. They have gotten me through lonely nights where I dreamed about sharing a bed and a life with someone special.

But holy crap, y’all. I finally do, and he didn’t appreciate it. Maybe I didn’t explain it right? But music? Good music is everything to me. These songs mellow me out. They take me somewhere. I listen to them in the dark, in the shower, and when I did home repair with my dad. I took them with me in the hot tub. I took them here in 2010-ish, in TN, when I was still figuring out who I was, and if Jeff or Darren had a right to be there. (They didn’t.)

This was mainly a list for me to vibe as I created, searched, and built my empire. The fact that it’s filled with such diversity was a reflection of who I was. So, I kinda felt like…okay–my list is my heart, and MAYBE I don’t want a ton of lists. I want an endless compilation of songs that fit who I am.

THEN.

I started making the “Give Roni a Kiss” list. Songs to seduce someone in my future. Songs to show that I have some kind of maturity under my belt. Songs to kiss to, have wine with, and just be with someone in the dark. We don’t have to do all the things, but come on. A chance to vibe. This list meant a lot to me, because I wanted to share it with someone I felt like I was going to be with for a while. I was dreaming when I put these together.

But these are mostly grown folks listsings. The kind of songs I wanted to seduce a person with, maybe put on some lingerie, maybe dance together. When I’m in the mood, I SET a mood. I’m trying to get some, dig? This is me putting on that adult sensuality very few know of when it comes to Miss Roni Rochelle.

The V-Day list was something I put together for a blog post, but my heart was in the right place. These were just songs that I felt most people could groove to on that day. I didn’t even get to this list, nor the one on my iPhone. I wanted to let babe experience the music I constantly have in my ears, but–it was kind of a meh thing.

So for the rest of the weekend, we kind of dipped in and out of the music, in and out of each other, and sort of in and out of a bottle of Voddy-ka he brought with him. We had plenty of quality time, you know? It was all good, but he kinda got into my musical craw. I appreciated his jams, so why didn’t he re-try to like mine?

I sort of brought it up again a few days ago, and he had no response to that. So, reader, I have posted the two lists for you to sample. I want you to listen to the tracks. There are a lot on there, but that’s because I think of songs I like, and add them. Songs from my childhood that fascinated me. Songs from my youth that put a groove in my step.

So who’s on there anyway? SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE LISTS. PLEASE SEND HELP. OK BUT. I AM GOING TO NAME 100 OF THEM. THIS IS THE CLOSING PART. OVER AND OUT.

  1. Shuggie Otis
  2. Teena Marie
  3. Seal
  4. My Morning Jacket
  5. Stevie Wonder
  6. Patti LaBelle
  7. Tina Turner
  8. Macy Gray
  9. Norah Jones
  10. Michael Jackson
  11. Barry White
  12. Quincy Jones
  13. Chaka Khan
  14. Diana Ross
  15. The Exciters
  16. Amy Winehouse
  17. Erykah Badu
  18. Tracie Spencer
  19. Tevin Cambell
  20. The Isley Brothers
  21. Isaac Hayes
  22. Chet Baker
  23. Anita Baker
  24. Nobuo Uematsu
  25. The Goo Goo Dolls
  26. Des’ree
  27. Rihanna
  28. Luther Vandross
  29. Wiener Symphoniker
  30. Whitney Houston
  31. Christina Aguilera
  32. Jermaine Jackson
  33. Lena Horne
  34. Peggy Lee
  35. Faith Hill
  36. Babyface
  37. Bobby Brown
  38. Al Green
  39. The Stylistics
  40. Chante Moore
  41. Kenny G
  42. After 7
  43. Aerosmith
  44. PM Dawn
  45. Beyonce
  46. Faith Evans
  47. Toni Braxton
  48. Cole Porter
  49. Heatwave
  50. Ella Fitzgerald
  51. SWV
  52. Total
  53. Fantasia
  54. Andy Allo
  55. Esperanza Spalding
  56. Brandy
  57. Aaliyah
  58. Janet Jackson
  59. TLC
  60. Sade
  61. The Beatles
  62. The Miracles
  63. D’Angelo
  64. Spandau Ballet
  65. Tony! Toni! Tone!
  66. Siouxsie and the Banshees
  67. Daft Punk
  68. iio
  69. Brian McKnight
  70. Extreme
  71. Gino Vannelli
  72. Four Tops
  73. Fergie
  74. Tyrese
  75. Roberta Flack
  76. DeBarge
  77. Big Maybelle
  78. Mariah Carey
  79. Rod Stewart
  80. The Brothers Johnson
  81. Lionel Richie
  82. Gloria Estefan
  83. Jennifer Lopez
  84. Mya
  85. Monica
  86. Styx
  87. Ginuwine
  88. Cyndi Lauper
  89. Spice Girls
  90. Miguel
  91. Mary J. Blige
  92. Jimmy Reed
  93. Floetry
  94. Lauryn Hill
  95. Britney Spears
  96. Donna Summer
  97. The Cardigans
  98. S Club 7
  99. Nikka Costa
  100. Madonna