I want what I fear.

I’m supposed to be in bed right now. The next 48 hours will be full of work. I’m wide awake, trying to sleep. I will rest at the last minute, work for an hour, come home, rest, start again Saturday. Every weekend, we’re booked. Since I went nuts on my card, I’m schlepping to pay some of it off. A part of me is happy to have a job, while the other is like….can I just become famous and write books already?

I thought about what I wanted all day today. That was inspiring, but also sad. The sadness came from frustration. So, I took a nap and felt a little better. I had a dream about…someone. It was so weird, but what is normal in my world? It was a long and odd dream, seeing the world from their POV in the hospital. I woke up, wondering if they were all right.

In another part of the dream, they made a comment on my blog, telling me they were glad they escaped, because it was confirmed I was crazy.

Ouch.

Obviously it was just a dream. So I didn’t go off writing emails or texting to see if all was well. I’m not running with a full deck of cards, but contact is a no no.

Today, I just laid back and realized life in this town is gonna be a period of working on myself with little to no excitement. Which….sucks, but will also help me de-stress in a lot of areas.

My love life, as always, will be up in the air.

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