I probably made some twisted vow never to speak on family incidents again, knowing full well that any new information that irritated me enough would eventually be released into the world. It’s been a long-ish time since my last post, and not much has changed. The same rules apply–not going into deep details with names. I’m just irritated and I need to get stuff off my chest by being as honest as possible.
I’m that kind of person who likes to at least attempt to see people in a good light with automatic respect. I mean, you REALLY have to give me some concrete reasons not to like you. So it’s not like I just pull irrational feelings out of the sky about people. I don’t just feel some type of way, just because it’s cloudy or I didn’t get the danish I wanted. On the other hand, if you’re doing the very worst to get at family–extended or blood–we have a problem. We have a big, messy problem. Your light is dimming.
What does it matter if I don’t like someone? The philosophy/religion I follow says so much about love, forgiveness, and the honor of human life. But it also doesn’t say “just sit there and take it”. The only thing is, I can’t let my LESSER SELF act. Hello. It’s upsetting to see one of the most prominent figures in my life be treated like crap. It’s upsetting to see the culprit go on Facebook painting vague pictures of mistreatment and struggle, while getting enabling support from people who truly have no idea. Or, when they have an idea, they’ll just blame my aunt!
This culprit put her own brother in a tight spot, and I guess that’s what made me feel some type of way. This was something he worked hard to overcome, and he’s a happier man with a beautiful family and a wonderful life. Why would she do something like that? It’s peculiar to know one thing, but see people writing about another. I am a terrible liar, and obviously an expressive person–if some…sh…er…stuff like that was going on in MY life, at some point I would POP. So, to see all the characters involved just acting like all is good and all is fine is somewhat admirable (because not everyone needs to know every dang thing), but strange (because their posts are just…a mask I guess?)
But alas, things will be changing. Allegedly. The storm has not cleared, as things will probably be said in two new locations, but the cloud will be in another place. I just hate to see family going through things like this. Feeling helpless, but also trying to be as supportive as possible. And yes, I have taken a side. Family—my blood—they are so important to me. Especially this aunt in particular who had a hand in raising me. I think I’m taking this so personally because it’s almost like somebody being mean to my mother. Another grown woman, nevertheless.
I could say so much and start my own turkey leg of drama, but I decided not to confront anyone at any time. I decided my job was to be there for the person who is truly alone in this–my aunt. The person who only has her sweet old mother there, and not her extended family. I feel bad about that, because I had a chance to live in TN but just didn’t go for it years ago. Which was stupid, but…yeah. Someday I will be there for her in person.
In all my banter about this issue, I don’t hope for a disaster. I just wonder how long before masks start falling off, and people get real. I mean REALLY REAL.