I’m not a genius. I fumble over words, ideas, and am often caught on the spot when people ask me things. I have some form of intelligence, but I’m not a Jack of all trades. In other words, yes I can get deep–but let’s not get crazy. I don’t refer to dead European writers and Russian philosophers to define my thoughts and ideas. However, that doesn’t mean anyone smarter than I or anyone else has the right to start treating people like crap. I absolutely hate this.
It’s a condescending type of approach. I’m in a class with someone like this, and it’s….interesting. Sometimes he’s brilliant. I will not deny that. Other times, like this past Tuesday–I just feel like I’d rather not be in the same room with him. His intelligence is like a passive-aggressive force. It’s like the whole “I’m not touching yoooou” situation. Hands over your head–just above–but only to annoy you.
I had to give a report. He was more interested in drawing with his little tablet and his work. Barely paying attention, but had a couple of smart ass comments along the way. I did my usual–bat it off with humor. But I was mortified. I was getting angry. I was already nervous from the presentation, but he seemed to make it….worse. Smirks, giggles–I just wanted him out of the room so that I could get it over with.
I was just starting to like him. Not like THAT, either. But like as in “hey this guy is pretty interesting and cool. I am enjoying my time in class with him.” This is after the fact that he was really being an ass to another classmate I hang around. She’s a little younger, so I kinda just told her to shake it off, because he’s probably being annoying on purpose because she shows signs of being annoyed. To be very honest, he IS annoying sometimes. However, he doesn’t always act like a Mr. Know-It-All. I suppose that his “above it all” airs just irk me, sometimes.
Then, in all my frustration, I realized something–
He is a non-factor.
Annoying? Yes, very.
Determining factor as to whether or not I get my BA? NOPE.
Determining factor as to whether I am a worthy person or not? NAH.
Does he control my future in any way, shape, or form? NEGATIVE.
He’s a scab to be picked off the skin of my current state of being. A person full of knowledge, some kind of personality, but not the entire summary of my collegiate experience. There are many people like him in life, and I have to find a way to navigate around them without resorting to sophomoric behavior. (That word, btw, is how he describes Family Guy and most adult cartoons. A hint that he probably doesn’t care for most of adult swim’s lineup, and shame on anyone else who does?)
I had to get all of this off my chest. Not to say I hate him, but just to say I might not…um…like him very much. And that’s okay. You don’t have to like everyone, and they do not have to like you. The magic of life! However, that doesn’t mean I get to disrespect him. I think I can keep my distance, keep things brief, and probably just go back to how I felt about him before (being as wary as possible).
There’s only two weeks of this quarter left, and I’m hoping I don’t ever have to see him in another class again.
Which is probably not going to happen, because we’re both English majors.
However, if I find a spot for poetry slams, I better not see his you-know-what there.
Doggone it. >.>
If I were a smarter person, I suppose that I’d have an arsenal of witty retorts all loaded and aimed at anything he shot at me. Or indirectly, or whatever the crappity crap he’s doing. A lot of people tend to have mixed reviews of who he is, so I’m kinda not alone. Still, he’s a bitter cup of tea.
I don’t have to swallow him.
(Oh innuendo. That didn’t sound right at all.)