Going through one of those moments where everything seems wrong, is going wrong, or has cast you outside of life sucks. It sucks. You don’t feel like doing anything at all, but there’s school and job hunts and weight losses and getting better to think of. There’s faith to get you through things, and just…being human. How am I going to juggle all of this?
I felt no better today, feeling even more isolated in a world that…I dunno…a world that might see me one way, but will never have any interest in knowing me another way no matter how approachable I make myself. It’s almost painful to realize that if I weren’t who I am in appearance, this would not be. But people who are identical body-type wise do just fine. So, it always feels like a “it’s just me” thing.
I thought of joining a club or something, just to have somewhere to belong in school. Mulling over it, because our school has so few clubs. Still, it’s a way for me to meet people. As for the tumblr hiatus, I probably will just hold back on how often I’m there. I don’t have to live there, no matter how much I feel pathetically attached to the space. I can’t just completely give it up, unlike most people with….you know…a life. Until I get one of those, what else is left?
I wear the cone of tragic shame quite well. Still, I’m aware that positive things will arrive…sometime. I dunno. Navigating life…jeez.