I was able to be open with one of my favorite tumblr users today about the downside of being left behind. Kind of like accepting the fact that I can be human, vulnerable, but still energized to keep going. Who’s stopping because the unfortunate predictable happened? This is the Buddhism talking.
This was an opportunity to see myself as an older version of whom I used to be. Crushed, sure, but slightly. Not crushed where time consumes every waking moment as to why it happened. Of course I wonder why, but it’s not the sad-fest it used to be. More like “okay, the thing happened. Probably could have avoided the thing, but you’re still here.”
Of course I’m still here! 🙂 Slowly but surely realizing my own value and worth in this world. Looking forward to school and writing papers again. Looking forward to work study and meeting new friends. Looking forward to many days of schedules, purpose, and chanting. I’m excited about learning and living and growing.
This is the change–walking around the obstacle. Seeing the other side, not sidetracked for long. I’d love not to get tested again, but life has a way of doing what it wants. Besides, Barthandelus and Orphan are still waiting for me.
Who has time to worry about doomed friendships? Some people…they just want to mess with you a bit and get their yearly revenge. That’s something they have to work out on their own. I’ll let you in if you wanna stay in. Otherwise, folk make choices on purpose to keep themselves out!
What can I do about that? 😉