When the world is honest with you, sometimes it’s not a good feeling. Sometimes it a bittersweet feeling. Sometimes it’s just nothing at all. I don’t know what I feel right now, or why I’m even attempting to feel anything at all about what I just saw. Why are my fingers dancing across the keyboard as I give what happened any kind of attention? It’s just a funny thing, because in the back of my mind, I knew it was going to happen. All I can say is that people try to lie to you about how they feel when you call them out. When they deny it with big words and productions, you try and believe them. As soon as things get “real”, hey, anything goes.
The funny thing is that I knew in my heart and mind that I’m the kind of girl that most people find to be very easy to get over. I’ve made this statement time and time again. People deny it, reminding of how wonderful, special, and magnetic I am. I’m also a stubborn, direct hard-ass. We don’t really talk about that until somebody’s pissed off.
Well, life goes on. People go on. What was dying has finally died. It just happened one morning and I’m not as upset as I would normally be. Probably because I accepted the failure long ago. The actions spoke louder than the words ever did. Once I accepted everything was all talk, that part of me that wanted the Moon simply shut down. I’ll never deny the emotions the other person tried to show me, but I would never, ever let myself get soft again or get my hopes up.
So who knows. Whether the “mine” meant “hey she’s my girl” or “mine” as in “this should be mine”–it’s fine. We all have our limits, things change, people change. My life is shifting slowly, and I did what I thought I needed to do. Old friends are back, burning hope for other things have been buried, and parts of my old self are poking out from other graves. I don’t have time to be lonely or have a broken heart.
Last words– people who claim everything about you in such a loving manner….are sometimes full of shit and are simply attempting to compensate for something in their own lives. When they wake up and smell the coffee, you become nothing to them as easily as one breathes air.
Such is life.
Confirmed to move on.