NaNoWriMo Disaster

I decided to try NaNoWriMo again, after failing two years ago. The problem was writer’s block and starting to hate my story as I wrote. So, I abandoned it. I have a short attention span and I get frustrated easily. I can feel myself tensing up and hating everything I write as the “ick” factor sets in. When I stop, I find it very hard to come back to my work.

For the past few days, I’ve been sitting at my desk, doing everything else BUT writing. I feel horrible about that. I just want to write, get it over with, and be happy with myself. Why doesn’t this work right?

I need inspiration. I thought I had it, but my story just fell apart. It was supposed to be a sans-dialogue story about this husband and wife, and how an affair rips their perfect life apart. Cliche, but, the whole story is really about the wife. She tries her best to keep everything together until the last minute, where she just completely loses her mind and trashes the house. Nobody dies, nobody gets hurt physically–we just see a woman who is usually put together completely lose her composure.

It sounded like a really rich story until I wrote it. Too much detail, not enough body and emotion, stiff stiff stiff. It was stiff. I couldn’t move on to the next scene. I wanted to get her started with the drama right away. In my head, it began to flow perfectly. Once fingers met keyboard and Open Office software, it just all fell apart.

I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to hear about other people getting it done, and then I’ve yet another piece sitting in my writing file, rotting and crying for my love and attention. If I want to be like the Samantha Irbys and Kimberla Lawsons of the world, I NEED TO WRITE. I want to write, get discovered, and be awesome and strange. I want to visit people and have great IG and FB stories. I want to create and flow and move and just do all the awesome stuff.

Sigh.

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