It’s been a rough 72 hours. But it’s that time of year when drastic weather changes hit me hard. I hate that. Everything is put on hold until I can get better. I’m privileged to have a situation where I can put things on hold, but at a great disadvantage at the same time. Until I get my weight back in check to a point where this isn’t an issue, cold weather and odd conditions are not my friends.
I can have a flare-up for various reasons– poor air quality in the Summer, mold, chilly weather. I can feel it coming and I loathe every second. I loathe every cough, every hour of congestion and the….incontinence from a hard cough…ugh. I have it under natural control, but I need a doctor all up in my lungs. I have to wait until October to see that part through.
Yesterday, I started to think of my ex, Darren, and how this crap used to effect his entire…everything. He lost jobs because of it. He lost my favor because of it. I felt so bad about that after having to deal with it myself. It just showed up two years ago after not bothering me for soooo long. I mean…he and I were doomed anyway but I started to realize what it was like to be sick, bedridden, and pretty much unable to move around without the world barking at you.
In any case, I still got up to do my daily chanting. I was proud of myself for that. I need to do better with evening chants, but I’m usually right on time for the morning chants. I just keep chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo, looking forward to the victory of a healthy body and being able to work out again and being able to get up and do things again.